Three Ways to Give Yourself What You Need

or how to nourish your soul

enjoy the little things

Here we are at the end of January. This is the week when all of our plans for ourselves in the new year have either become an ingrained habit, or they have fallen apart. I hope they have become a habit for you.

Either way, this is a good time to check in with yourself.

Are you doing the things that make you happy?

Are you giving yourself time each week to develop the YOU that has taken the back burner on your life for so long? You know the one; she likes to dance, and laugh, and love with passion. Yes! Her! She wants to come to the forefront.

What does she need from you? (more…)

Why I Don’t Do Resolutions


Here is why I’m not making New Year’s Resolutions:

Every year we start off thinking January gives us a clean slate for a new beginning. So we consider all the things we’ve wanted to do, or be, and we make a list.

This year I will finally lose weight!

This is the year I will make a million!

This year will be different, we tell ourselves. But is it? Really?

This week might be different because we are thinking differently. But how long does that last? Are we really making changes?

A few years ago I stopped making resolutions. Especially that one about (more…)


they either comfort you or stress you out


This year (next week, in fact) we are taking a family trip to Disney World as an early Christmas and a “Yay we survived deployment” trip. As a result of this big trip, the rest of our Christmas celebration is going to be pretty meager this year.

So I started thinking; if Christmas this year is not about the gifts, and if it is just the three of us in my little family, what will make it special? How will we know that Christmas day is not just another day that we don’t have to go to work?

That’s where traditions come in. Traditions are an important part of our family holidays. They help create a sense of specialness and they serve as an avenue for creating lasting memories for us and our son.

The traditions we have developed as a family are a blend (more…)

Family First

(why this is my last Thursday post)

family first

This is my last Thursday post.

My son and I skipped math tutoring today and had a long talk in the coffee shop instead. It was a good talk. I’m glad we did it.

You all know that I’ve been seeking more balance in my life, and in my searching, I have realized that my son and my family need me right now–more than I thought they did.

So I need to free up a little bit of time to be the kind of mom I want to be for my son.

I heard a great parenting tip one time. A long-time friend told me that when your child becomes a teenager, they start repeating the behaviors and patterns they had when they were 10 years younger. So when your child is 13, they act the way they did when they were three. When they are fifteen, they act how they did when they were five.

When your kid is five you help him navigate as his world gets a little bigger. When he is 15 you do the same because his world is definitely getting bigger. My son needs me to help him, and I need to have the time to do it.

So, this will be my last Thursday post for a while. At least through the holidays. Maybe longer.

I will still post on Saturday mornings so you can have a leisurely cup of coffee with me when you read the blog with your weekend breakfast. I am enjoying getting back in touch with the writer in me, so you will also be seeing more books from me in the coming year.

And if you still want to hear from me two days a week, sign up to get my Weekly Thoughts. They are delivered to your email on Fridays. In them I share what I’ve been thinking about, as well as links to things I’ve been writing. You can sign up for them right here, and you will get your first email this Friday!

So let’s get together on Saturdays and talk about this  awakening journey of midlife. I look forward to seeing you then!

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How to Reach Your Deepest Emotions

(a Q&A about keeping a journal)

oh I'm fine

There was a lot of great response to a Facebook post I shared about journaling. I had a quite a few people email me questions, so I thought maybe some of you might have similar thoughts. I decided to share one of my responses here because after I re-read it, I decided it was actually really good advice for anyone going on a journey of discovery about themselves.

So here it is: the Q & A about journaling.


I used to journal all the time but stopped because it felt too ‘dear diary’ ish. Can you share any ideas about how to dig a bit deeper when writing in a journal?


Really journaling is (more…)

Finding Joy

(or my confessions of car dancing)

exuberant joy
I was driving to pick my son up from school (I know, many of my posts these days start with those words!). I was waiting at a light and I happened to look to my right when I saw a lady dancing in her car.

I love car dancing…expressing yourself through dance when your favorite jam comes on. I’m usually reserved though, keeping my movements small; in fact, I usually confine my car dancing to my shoulders with an occasional “raising the roof” with my hands. Thankfully my son is rather tolerant of this, and his only parameter for me is (more…)

My Part Time Job as an Uber Driver

(well, more like an Uber-mom driver)


For someone who works from home, I sure do a lot of commuting!

Between taking my son to school (he goes to a magnet school so he doesn’t have neighborhood bus service) and picking him up each day, plus running to math tutoring and other misc. appointments a few times a week, I can easily spend 14 hours each week in the car, plus another five or six hours waiting for him to do the things he needs to do.

That’s like an additional part-time job!

I couldn’t figure out why I have not been able to get everything that I used to do done. It seems like I am always behind on dishes and laundry. I’m having a hard time fitting in a good workout, and I’m always doing my writing projects at odd hours because their deadlines are looming.

And I’m wondering why (more…)

Success. Will. Come.

(part five of a five-part series)

find successThis is the last post in my series about waking up to your life. I’ve spent the last two weeks talking about three of the four points that I felt “found” me because they wanted to be discovered by me. 

Today, we come to point four. Success Will Come.

In her post a few weeks back, Coach Melanie writes:

“Your success depends on your attitude and how you choose to react to your troubles. And yes, you always have a choice. Do you quit or do you keep plugging away? …Don’t give up before you get to the good stuff. If you work hard, if you persevere through the storm, success WILL come.” From Hard Beginnings

This point came into my email a few weeks ago. Melanie is a great friend and an even better life coach! She often voices exactly what I’m thinking in her blog. (I encourage you to check her out–you’ll learn stuff from her as well!)

Anyway, as I re-read this post from Melanie, I started thinking about a story about a hike and a group of ladies I met in Colorado. (more…)

Wake Up and Stop It

(Post 4 of a 5-post series


Continuing my series on waking up to the life I want, I’ve come to point three of the four points that found me regarding how to wake up and have a good morning (and therefore perhaps an unstuck life). That’s the goal anyway.

So here I am at three. I think it’s my favorite Create a Not To Do list or a Wait List. What a great concept! I am free to put something on a “Don’t Do This” list.

Here is a recap of the point.

3. Create a “Not-to-Do” List, or a “Wait-List”
7 Ways to have a Truly Great Morning

“You know the distractions you should be avoiding, the ones that consistently suck time and energy out of your day? To avoid getting sidetracked make a list of them and keep it on your desk. Paired with your to-do list, you now have a double dose of focus and prioritization.”

As an added bonus, my friend and coach, Sage Grayson (at, has a great worksheet for figuring out what she calls a wait list–these (more…)

Wake Up and Work Hard

(post 3 of a 5-part series)

one step

“In life, patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard on your dreams, knowing that the work is worth it. So if you’re going to try, put in the time and go all the way. Otherwise, there’s no point in starting. This could mean losing stability and comfort for a while, and maybe even your mind on occasion. It could mean not eating what, or sleeping where, you’re used to, for weeks on end. It could mean stretching your comfort zone so thin it gives you a nonstop case of the chills. It could mean sacrificing relationships and all that’s familiar. It could mean accepting ridicule from your peers. It could mean lots of time alone in solitude. Solitude, though, is the gift that makes great things possible. It gives you the space you need. Everything else is a test of your determination, of how much you really want it.” from 

Last week I was pondering some articles that came into view from my Facebook, magazines and email. It seemed like, without searching for them, I kept seeing advice about how to get unstuck. As if the world around me knew that I needed (more…)