Why I Don’t Do Resolutions

resolutions

Here is why I’m not making New Year’s Resolutions:

Every year we start off thinking January gives us a clean slate for a new beginning. So we consider all the things we’ve wanted to do, or be, and we make a list.

This year I will finally lose weight!

This is the year I will make a million!

This year will be different, we tell ourselves. But is it? Really?

This week might be different because we are thinking differently. But how long does that last? Are we really making changes?

A few years ago I stopped making resolutions. Especially that one about (more…)

What if we do 2016 differently?

January quote

Happy New Year!

2015 was a pretty good year. Many great things happened; we took lots of fun trips, survived a deployment, and had great times with family. I also started writing again, for me, and I’ve revamped my life a bit so I can concentrate on the things that are really important to me.

But as I was pondering the coming of the new year, I began thinking…

What if this year, we didn’t believe those things that have held us prisoner in our minds. Like the words that make us feel less than. Or not good enough. Or not pretty enough. What if instead, we embraced who we are. And knew that we are good enough. And pretty enough. And lovely enough.

What if this year, we said no to (more…)

Family First

(why this is my last Thursday post)

family first

AlanePearce.com

This is my last Thursday post.

My son and I skipped math tutoring today and had a long talk in the coffee shop instead. It was a good talk. I’m glad we did it.

You all know that I’ve been seeking more balance in my life, and in my searching, I have realized that my son and my family need me right now–more than I thought they did.

So I need to free up a little bit of time to be the kind of mom I want to be for my son.

I heard a great parenting tip one time. A long-time friend told me that when your child becomes a teenager, they start repeating the behaviors and patterns they had when they were 10 years younger. So when your child is 13, they act the way they did when they were three. When they are fifteen, they act how they did when they were five.

When your kid is five you help him navigate as his world gets a little bigger. When he is 15 you do the same because his world is definitely getting bigger. My son needs me to help him, and I need to have the time to do it.

So, this will be my last Thursday post for a while. At least through the holidays. Maybe longer.

I will still post on Saturday mornings so you can have a leisurely cup of coffee with me when you read the blog with your weekend breakfast. I am enjoying getting back in touch with the writer in me, so you will also be seeing more books from me in the coming year.

And if you still want to hear from me two days a week, sign up to get my Weekly Thoughts. They are delivered to your email on Fridays. In them I share what I’ve been thinking about, as well as links to things I’ve been writing. You can sign up for them right here, and you will get your first email this Friday!

So let’s get together on Saturdays and talk about this  awakening journey of midlife. I look forward to seeing you then!

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In The Eye of The Beholder

ugly one

How is it that I can let the unkind words of one insignificant person define me for so many years, but I won’t believe the uplifting words of friends or family?

A few years ago I was taking a class and I had an assignment to write about something very emotional. After some struggle with the assignment, I just started free writing. And that’s when I learned that a sentence uttered by a dumb teenage boy when I was 13 defined how I felt about myself for most of my life.

When I was in middle school, I had this great group of friends with whom I would go out on the weekends. This was in the 80s, so we would go to “downtown” Stateline, Nevada and hang out in the video arcade hoping to meet some cute boys.

One time, we met three boys who wanted to hang out with us. But there were only three of them to our four. So one of the boys said, “We’ll go with you, you, and you,” pointing to my friends, “but not the ugly one,” he said while pointing to me. (more…)

Finding Joy

(or my confessions of car dancing)

exuberant joy
I was driving to pick my son up from school (I know, many of my posts these days start with those words!). I was waiting at a light and I happened to look to my right when I saw a lady dancing in her car.

I love car dancing…expressing yourself through dance when your favorite jam comes on. I’m usually reserved though, keeping my movements small; in fact, I usually confine my car dancing to my shoulders with an occasional “raising the roof” with my hands. Thankfully my son is rather tolerant of this, and his only parameter for me is (more…)

How to See Your Beauty

how to see beauty

I saw an article on Yahoo! News last month that really opened my eyes to how I think about myself. Well, that’s not entirely correct; I know how I think of myself–and it’s usually not very positive. (I’ll go into that another time). But I realized as I looked at that article, that I’m not alone in having a low self-image or a poor body image.

I’ve realized that we all stand in front of the mirror and see flaws in ourselves. Even someone like Sophia Vergara who is a very beautiful woman. The Yahoo! News article I read reported that she told The Daily Mirror (the UK tabloid), “…sometimes I look in the mirror

(more…)

September Mourning

sept mourning by AlanePearce
September isn’t a great month for me. It used to be…I’ve always loved how the weather starts to change. I’ve loved the back to school sales and buying new notebooks/journals that are filled with blank pages just waiting to be filled up. I’ve loved how the trees start changing colors and how home starts feeling homier in the evenings as the sun starts setting earlier.

I still love those things, but September is now filled with reminders of dreams dashed, lives changed, and hearts broken. September is the time when I remember my first-born son’s short life. And since 2001, it’s the time I remember how my own life was so affected and changed on 9/11. And now, it’s also the time I remember how much I miss my sister who left us too soon last year.

(more…)

Love Yourself

Have you forgotten how to love and nurture yourself?
This guide, which is my gift to you, will help you remember!

8waysbookgraphic

As women, we generally spend most of our time taking care of other people; our co-workers, our bosses, our spouse, our clients, our pets, our kids, our friends…doing things for them, or the things they want us to do, because we love them. And life continues rolling along while you bring joy to those around you.

Until that one day… (more…)