Why I Don’t Do Resolutions

resolutions

Here is why I’m not making New Year’s Resolutions:

Every year we start off thinking January gives us a clean slate for a new beginning. So we consider all the things we’ve wanted to do, or be, and we make a list.

This year I will finally lose weight!

This is the year I will make a million!

This year will be different, we tell ourselves. But is it? Really?

This week might be different because we are thinking differently. But how long does that last? Are we really making changes?

A few years ago I stopped making resolutions. Especially that one about (more…)

Making my Life a Vacation

or bringing the principles of Disney home

IMG_5130

Last week my family and I went to Walt Disney World for the trip of a lifetime. We had such a wonderful time! The weather was perfect, there weren’t too many crowds, but we were all a little sad when it was time to leave. I may or may not have cried a little as we headed to the airport.

My guys were a little confused by my longing to stay instead of going home. But really, who wouldn’t want to stay?! At Disney World I was treated like a princess. Everything was taken care of for me, and everyone just wanted me to have fun. I didn’t have to cook, or clean, or do laundry. I didn’t even have to drive anyone anywhere! If I wanted something, I only had to ask and the cast members would do everything they could to make it happen.

Compare that to my house (more…)

Family First

(why this is my last Thursday post)

family first

AlanePearce.com

This is my last Thursday post.

My son and I skipped math tutoring today and had a long talk in the coffee shop instead. It was a good talk. I’m glad we did it.

You all know that I’ve been seeking more balance in my life, and in my searching, I have realized that my son and my family need me right now–more than I thought they did.

So I need to free up a little bit of time to be the kind of mom I want to be for my son.

I heard a great parenting tip one time. A long-time friend told me that when your child becomes a teenager, they start repeating the behaviors and patterns they had when they were 10 years younger. So when your child is 13, they act the way they did when they were three. When they are fifteen, they act how they did when they were five.

When your kid is five you help him navigate as his world gets a little bigger. When he is 15 you do the same because his world is definitely getting bigger. My son needs me to help him, and I need to have the time to do it.

So, this will be my last Thursday post for a while. At least through the holidays. Maybe longer.

I will still post on Saturday mornings so you can have a leisurely cup of coffee with me when you read the blog with your weekend breakfast. I am enjoying getting back in touch with the writer in me, so you will also be seeing more books from me in the coming year.

And if you still want to hear from me two days a week, sign up to get my Weekly Thoughts. They are delivered to your email on Fridays. In them I share what I’ve been thinking about, as well as links to things I’ve been writing. You can sign up for them right here, and you will get your first email this Friday!

So let’s get together on Saturdays and talk about this  awakening journey of midlife. I look forward to seeing you then!

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In The Eye of The Beholder

ugly one

How is it that I can let the unkind words of one insignificant person define me for so many years, but I won’t believe the uplifting words of friends or family?

A few years ago I was taking a class and I had an assignment to write about something very emotional. After some struggle with the assignment, I just started free writing. And that’s when I learned that a sentence uttered by a dumb teenage boy when I was 13 defined how I felt about myself for most of my life.

When I was in middle school, I had this great group of friends with whom I would go out on the weekends. This was in the 80s, so we would go to “downtown” Stateline, Nevada and hang out in the video arcade hoping to meet some cute boys.

One time, we met three boys who wanted to hang out with us. But there were only three of them to our four. So one of the boys said, “We’ll go with you, you, and you,” pointing to my friends, “but not the ugly one,” he said while pointing to me. (more…)

I Will Not Be Bullied

snappa-Live your life

When I was young, my mother sat me down and had a talk with me about safety. She told me things like not to take rides from people I didn’t know and to let her look at my halloween candy so she could make sure nothing had been tampered with. Those were the biggest safety issues of our day. Those were times when I could play outside all day and my mother didn’t need to watch me. She knew I was okay. Those were the days when the biggest terror threat was someone who was tampering with Tylenol(r).

Within the last week I had to sit down with my son and have a similar talk about safety. But it was so very different. (more…)

Finding Joy

(or my confessions of car dancing)

exuberant joy
I was driving to pick my son up from school (I know, many of my posts these days start with those words!). I was waiting at a light and I happened to look to my right when I saw a lady dancing in her car.

I love car dancing…expressing yourself through dance when your favorite jam comes on. I’m usually reserved though, keeping my movements small; in fact, I usually confine my car dancing to my shoulders with an occasional “raising the roof” with my hands. Thankfully my son is rather tolerant of this, and his only parameter for me is (more…)

My Part Time Job as an Uber Driver

(well, more like an Uber-mom driver)

UberDriver

For someone who works from home, I sure do a lot of commuting!

Between taking my son to school (he goes to a magnet school so he doesn’t have neighborhood bus service) and picking him up each day, plus running to math tutoring and other misc. appointments a few times a week, I can easily spend 14 hours each week in the car, plus another five or six hours waiting for him to do the things he needs to do.

That’s like an additional part-time job!

I couldn’t figure out why I have not been able to get everything that I used to do done. It seems like I am always behind on dishes and laundry. I’m having a hard time fitting in a good workout, and I’m always doing my writing projects at odd hours because their deadlines are looming.

And I’m wondering why (more…)

Success. Will. Come.

(part five of a five-part series)

find successThis is the last post in my series about waking up to your life. I’ve spent the last two weeks talking about three of the four points that I felt “found” me because they wanted to be discovered by me. 

Today, we come to point four. Success Will Come.

In her post a few weeks back, Coach Melanie writes:

“Your success depends on your attitude and how you choose to react to your troubles. And yes, you always have a choice. Do you quit or do you keep plugging away? …Don’t give up before you get to the good stuff. If you work hard, if you persevere through the storm, success WILL come.” From LifeCoachingbyMelanie.com Hard Beginnings

This point came into my email a few weeks ago. Melanie is a great friend and an even better life coach! She often voices exactly what I’m thinking in her blog. (I encourage you to check her out–you’ll learn stuff from her as well!)

Anyway, as I re-read this post from Melanie, I started thinking about a story about a hike and a group of ladies I met in Colorado. (more…)

Wake Up and Stop It

(Post 4 of a 5-post series

stop2

Continuing my series on waking up to the life I want, I’ve come to point three of the four points that found me regarding how to wake up and have a good morning (and therefore perhaps an unstuck life). That’s the goal anyway.

So here I am at three. I think it’s my favorite Create a Not To Do list or a Wait List. What a great concept! I am free to put something on a “Don’t Do This” list.

Here is a recap of the point.

3. Create a “Not-to-Do” List, or a “Wait-List”
From inc.com
7 Ways to have a Truly Great Morning

“You know the distractions you should be avoiding, the ones that consistently suck time and energy out of your day? To avoid getting sidetracked make a list of them and keep it on your desk. Paired with your to-do list, you now have a double dose of focus and prioritization.”

As an added bonus, my friend and coach, Sage Grayson (at SageGrayson.com), has a great worksheet for figuring out what she calls a wait list–these (more…)

Wake Up and Work Hard

(post 3 of a 5-part series)

one step

“In life, patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard on your dreams, knowing that the work is worth it. So if you’re going to try, put in the time and go all the way. Otherwise, there’s no point in starting. This could mean losing stability and comfort for a while, and maybe even your mind on occasion. It could mean not eating what, or sleeping where, you’re used to, for weeks on end. It could mean stretching your comfort zone so thin it gives you a nonstop case of the chills. It could mean sacrificing relationships and all that’s familiar. It could mean accepting ridicule from your peers. It could mean lots of time alone in solitude. Solitude, though, is the gift that makes great things possible. It gives you the space you need. Everything else is a test of your determination, of how much you really want it.” from GoForHealth.co 

Last week I was pondering some articles that came into view from my Facebook, magazines and email. It seemed like, without searching for them, I kept seeing advice about how to get unstuck. As if the world around me knew that I needed (more…)